BOUNTY MILKSHAKE

I am clasping it to my bosom because it's my new favourite drink! If I ever have babies I will not breastfeed, I will give them this delicious liquid.

I'm excited because I don't really like adult drinks. I always burn my mouth on tea and coffee. I had a recent addiction to Sunny D. Red wine is my worst enemy. Capri-sun is ideal on-the go hit of juice and  results in tiny, foldable litter for if you have tight clothes on.

Unlike Frij milkshakes, which I reserve only for my darkest days, Bounty milkshake is quite refreshing. The 'real coconut' is either a brazen untruth or only refers to the coconut milk and not the 'bits'.  There are no floaters in this beauty. Which is good. My mum used to make me share drinks with my little sister because we were poor and sausage roll floaters still haunt my nightmares. It's a medium consistency and won't really quench your thirst if you've been 'jorging' or 'ranning' or 'hoiking' or any other 'sport' or whatever, but it won't make you gurgle when you speak for the next hour either.

I think it's quite bad for you but I don't mind. By the time I've drank enough for it to make a difference, bingo wings will be in fashion.

PARADISE, no? BOUNTY MILKSHAKE. 8/10.