People will laugh at you but who cares when you're marching triumphantly to Greggs to get a sausage, bean and cheese melt in a pair of golden boots? I found these on eBay, from a fancy dress shop. They are listed as 'victorian wild west fancy dress'. Ah yes, Victorian England was positively bedecked in golden ankle boots. And no saloon whore was complete without a pair. I sometimes worry I will be mistaken for a genuine time traveler, one who has been lax in adjusting their attire to the era they're visiting. The downside of buying things that are only designed for one night of joyous, historically inaccurate frivolity if that they tent to deteriorate as soon as exposed to the real world. I had to get these babies re-heeled quick. Eight pounds. EIGHT POUNDS?! I should have just hammered some hobnails in.
Other delights you could adorn yourself in, if you should care to trawl the fancy dress shops of the internet:
Or for the less adventurous:
You'll definitely be a talking point wherever you go. However your garments or shoes will probably be made of terrible plastic, bonded together with diluted glue made from the ground bones of lame clowns, and they won't last very well when put under the pressure of running for buses or washing up. Your long satin gloves or lobster claws will make it hard to operate your phone, shoelaces, knife and fork etc. Your cat's eye glasses and fake nose will make intimacy risky. However, it's probably worth it for being on the cutting edge of fashion.
WEARING FANCY DRESS CLOTHES IN EVERYDAY LIFE: 5/10
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